Blended families are so much the norm today and I personally don’t think they get enough attention or help. I would like to offer some suggestions that may be helpful in making sure families blend.
The first word of wisdom I would give to couples about to marry and she or he all ready have children is to make sure you both have a strong prayer life individually and with your children and with your future spouse before you come together.
Ask God for His guidance and direction and if there is anything you should know about this other person or their children that you don’t know now, to please reveal that to you before the wedding.
Blended families can have unique situations that call for spiritual insight that only the Holy Spirit can give. That of course is true of any family, but often with blended families there are some things all ready workingthat you haven’t thought of yet, things that are not obviously visible to the naked eye and that you can’t see or hear in the natural.
My next bit of counsel to couples of is to Talk, Talk, Talk about everything and I do mean everything before you make a definite decision to get married. Please take your time and go slowly.
Not only talk about every little thing but go through and do some what ifs. Like what if Judy who is my daughter gets in trouble with the law, what would you do? What if we catch the kids smoking pot, what would you do and how would you feel?
Will the kids have an allowance? Where will that money come from? Do you plan to send them all to college? How? If I get pregnant do you expect me to continue to work outside the home?
Are both of you willing to be the mother and father to all of the children? In other words you won’t look at the children as this one is yours and the other one is mine. Your family will never blend with that mindset.
Here are 6 suggestions for blended families that might help in parenting your children.
Blended Families Do s and Don’ts
1. Parents Must Always present a United Front. Every decision you make, make it together.
2. Always honor your spouse in front of your children.
3. Never allow significant differences between the two of you as far as discipline is concerned. i.e., Good Cop, Bad Cop. If anyone must be the bad cop, which I don’t think has to be, it should be the biological parent.
4. Don’t let them think that men are easy but women are tough or vice versa. Share the responsibility and discipline.
5. Get outside counseling whenever you need it. Pride is usually the only thing that will stop you.
6. Make sure you are always concerned about the marriage. Always protect your relationship.
Make sure you are not rushing into this marriage just to legalize the sex you might be having or want to have. Consider all of the lives that will be affected and possibly devastated if this marriage doesn’t work. You always have more to think about than yourself. All families can be beautiful if you follow God’s way of doing things.
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