Divorce reconciliation is a wonderful, supernatural God thing. Even though it is a God thing He does need your full cooperation. Both parties Must want to reconcile and be willing to do whatever it takes to make that happen. The word reconciliation is defined in the dictionary as the action of reconciling, the state of being reconciled. My 7th grade English teacher told me that you can never define a word with the same word. So the root word is reconcile. To reconcile means to restore to friendship or harmony, to settle or resolve differences, to cause to submit to or accept. I love that definition because that is exactly what happened to us. We were restored to friendship and harmony after we settled and resolved our differences before we were married the 2nd time. Then as we submitted to the Will and Word of God and accepted His Love for us, we were able, only by the grace of God, to accept one another. Divorce reconciliation becomes much easier when you are individually submitted to the Holy Spirit of God. Many of us think that because we go to church we’re fine. My question to you is have you had a true encounter and interchange with Jesus Christ? What does Romans 10:8 – 10 have to do with you? Has that part of the scripture come alive to you yet? Have you asked Jesus Christ to come into your heart and made Him The Lord of your Life? Do you have an intimate relationship with Him daily? Why not? I personally don’t think you can have True Divorce Reconciliation without Him! God is Love and true love is what it will take to reconcile after a divorce.
You must take a clear and hard look at Yourself
That is the most difficult thing for all of us to do is examine the man/woman in the mirror and be able to admit that we are wrong. The reason I said earlier that I don’t think you can have true divorce reconciliation without God is because He is the one who will help you see yourself clearly. We more times than not have a tendency to look at ourselves through rose colored glasses and at others through a magnifying glass. Psalm 139:23 says, “Search me, O God, and know my heart: try me, and know my thoughts: And see if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the way everlasting.” That is the prayer I suggest you pray. When you do, the Spirit of God will begin to bring to your mind some of the dumb stuff You did and said in that marriage that helped to contribute to its’ demise. Then you must ask God to forgive you and repent with the intent not to do that again, put it under the Blood of Jesus which cleanses us of all sin and move on.
Take full responsibility for your actions
Don’t try to blame everything on the other person. Be the first to say, “I was wrong, please forgive me and what can I do to make it right?” And mean it from the bottom of your heart. This will most times disarm the other person and bring down at least one wall. No matter what that person’s reaction is let them know you are sincere and you do want this reconciliation. You must talk calmly and sanely about everything. Whatever were the hard issues in the old marriage that led to the divorce, talk about them one at a time over a good period of time. This is where good Biblical premarital counsel should come in. You will need help with divorce reconciliation; make sure you get the best. We are always here to help and our book, Love That Would Not Let Me Go, is an excellent counseling tool for divorce reconciliation. I do recommend that you get it.