Infidelity And Divorce
Infidelity and divorce do not always have to go together. I don’t mean to excuse infidelity. What I’m trying to say is that infidelity does not always have to end in divorce. There is this process the Lord calls forgiveness. Infidelity is one of the most damaging blows any marriage can take, but it can take the hit and still stand.
All of this depends on where you are in relationship to Jesus Christ.
- Are you both willing to do whatever it takes to make it right?
- Will you hear Godly and Biblical counsel and do it, by instruction?
- Are you both willing to work through your feelings and not let your emotions rule your thoughts and the words that come out of your mouth?
Can Only Be Broken By Forgiveness
Make no mistake about it, this is and will be hard work, I mean it… for the long haul, to the very end, difficult and unpleasant work. Often in devastating situations like finding out that a spouse has committed adultery, we swing out of control and say things that we can never take back. We do that because we feel that whatever I say, the guilty party deserves it. Don’t do that. If you’ve already done it, go back and apologize to your spouse and establish the fact that you are angry but willing to sit down and talk about it sanely.
This will be one of the most difficult things you and your spouse will ever have to do. However it is necessary. This does not minimize the seriousness of the offense. This is a betrayal of monumental proportions. I believe that only God can heal the wounds thoroughly and reconcile you both back to Him and then to one another because adultery is also a sin against Him.
Decide when will be a good time to talk. Make sure the children are not within ear shot. They have probably heard enough already that they didn’t need to know. Turn the television off and set aside time to pray. Start off by praying individually and asking for direction. This is your time to compose yourself and remember that there are many, many things that God has forgiven you of that your guilty spouse will never know about. Don’t require him/her to be perfect if you’re not and we know you are not.
After you have talked and gathered all the facts, get Biblical counsel from people who can really understand how this feels but who also know the healing love of Christ. We are available to help.