Marriage: A Matter Of Life And Death


One of the realities I’m finding as I talk and minister to couples is that many don’t take seriously their marriage vows. We talk to one another as if we didn’t vow, however many years or months ago, we vowed to love and to cherish each other till death do us part.

God intended marriage to be an environment of support, encouragement, affirmation, fun, love, hard work and challenges. However, He intended us to have challenges we could overcome with His guidance.

You might think marriage, life, and death should not be used in the same sentence. I frame it this way because it truly can be a matter of either. Marriage is designed to bring an abundant life. But often when couples find themselves in conflict that seems to have no solution, they begin to speak death over the marriage.

Such statements as: “I wish I had never met you, you make me sick, I wish I had never married you, my mama told me not to marry you, I’d like to rip your lips off, where did you get that dumb idea, and the real (killer), I want a divorce.”

Does any of this sound familiar? Have you ever found yourself in a similar conversation? I sure did in my first marriage. When we got close to the end of our marriage we figuratively poured gasoline on our relationship and put a match to it with our words and actions toward one another. It burned to the ground.

The scripture says in Proverbs 18:21, “Death and life are in the power of the tongue: and they that love it shall eat the fruit thereof.”

Our words are so powerful. They are powerful enough to bring death or life to our marriage, family and ourselves. There were times in our first marriage that I didn’t want to live any more because of the words that we had spoken to one another.

That is always one of the devil’s devices to get us to do something dumb, so we won’t fulfill our purpose. John 10:10 says, “The thief comes only to steal kill and destroy.”

Don’t ever believe him. He is the father of lies.

I had to displace those lies with the truth that God says about me.

“I am fearfully and wonderfully made, Greater is He that is in me than He that is in the world, I’ve been made more than a conqueror, I’m an over comer in this life. I am a beautiful person who is accepted in the beloved. Jesus loves me enough to die for me. I am somebody made in the image of God.”

Take your time. Pray, hear from God about yourself and the other person and choose your mate carefully. It can be a matter of life or death.

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