The Case for Abstinence

The Case for Abstinence

I want to present my case for abstinence. Abstinence is defined as the act of voluntarily doing without something. It could be food, drink, or other pleasures. Today we are talking about abstaining from sex prior to marriage.. We do marriage counseling on a daily basis. If we don’t have couples sitting before us in person we have them calling on the phone, or we speak to several couples at a time in Seminar settings. One observation we have made is that most couples whether in the church or not think it is a normal practice for steady or engaged couples to have intercourse before marriage. They unashamedly, many times, tell us that they do have sex and are shocked at us to question why they wouldn’t.
This is why I see the need to state my case for abstinence. I have written on other pages of this website that I believe the part of developing a relationship with a person of the opposite sex that many people skip and miss out on is Friendship. Friendship is defined as a person who will comfort and support you when you are in trouble with no strings attached. A friend is also devoted to you. That word devoted means dedicated, loyal, and faithful with abstinence from sex. A friend will be transparent with you and not have secrets from you. Areal friend is a person who will know all of your secrets, faults and short comings and love you anyway. That’s called unconditional love with abstinence from sex. That is why you may only have one or two real friends in your entire life time. However, when you can develop a friendship like that with a person of the opposite sex, and then start to see them as a potential romantic candidate, you can begin to build a solid foundation for a healthy marriage with no strings attached. This is why I feel it is so important that I express to you the case for abstinence. When you have intercourse with a person you attach strings. If you will be honest with yourself you will admit that the whole chemistry of the relationship changes. That should not be surprising to anyone because Sin has been introduced into the equation. The scripture says for us to flee fornication, run from it in other words, don’t wallow in it, don’t continue to do it. (1st Corinthians 6:18 & 2nd Titus 2:22 & James 4:7)

I will give you three (3) reasons for the case for abstinence

  1. It is sin and the price you pay for sin is death but the gift of God is eternal life through Jesus Christ (Romans 6:23). This doesn’t mean that the moment you have intercourse before marriage you’re going to fall dead. (Of course with all of the STDs out there today I don’t know), but what this means is it could be the death of this relationship. One might begin to wonder if you would do this with me who else will you sleep with later on. Consequently trust can die.
  2. Intercourse was designed by God for marriage. In marriage intercourse becomes love making. When you can connect lookingthat one person in their eyes during this spiritual act and actually seeing their soul and committing yourself and your allegiance to this one person for life. It then becomes an act of worship to God for His bringing us together and His faithfulness to keep us and be the third party in this marriage.
  3. You will miss out and spoil the fireworks God has planned for you on your wedding night. I must tell you I know this from experience. When we married for the second time we abstained from having intercourse until after the wedding and I’m telling you folks it was just like the Super Bowl on the 4th of July. I mean God honored our abstinence with the best Love making ever.

Keep in mind we had been married for twenty eight (28) years prior to that so we knew what love making was all about, but this was totally different. We got up afterward and kicked our heels together it was soooo great! We did feel like Toney the Tiger. We have had smiles on our faces since 1996 and still having a GREAAAAAAAT time. That is the case for abstinence we present. This is our story and we’re sticking to it so we rest our case!!!!!!! P.O. Box 473368 Denver, Colorado 80047

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